There was an interesting
post yesterday on Coach Ilg’s
DIRECT LINES, wherein he answered a students question about the cruelty (and implied hypocrisy) of Coach
wearing leather.
My lovely wife and I have been “vegetarians” for about 15 years now, and his post called to mind many similar experiences she and I have had with friends. I put “vegetarian” in quotation marks because that is really a label that others apply, and as they apply it they also apply their own beliefs and perceptions.
For example, I am often asked, “how can you justify eating eggs?” or “how can you wear a leather belt?” with the implication that I am breaking the rules of being a vegetarian. How I respond to that is going to depend on how the question is asked. Is the person asking from a sense of real curiosity and interest, or are they merely playing a game of “gotcha!”?
I can respond with well-reasoned rationalizations about eggs, or modern dairy farming, or what have you. But the simple answer is that I don’t apply rules to it like that: I don’t eat meat because it feels like the wrong thing to do for me. And it’s the last two words in that sentence, for me, that make all the difference. It’s a choice that I make, based on my feelings, based on what my body and spirit tell me. Others are simply thinking way more about it than I am.
In the same vein, I have people ask me if I mind them eating meat in my presence, or making a big show that they are eating meat as a means to poke fun at me. And every now and then I will have people tell me, “you would have been proud of me, because I had x instead of meat…” or “I don’t eat meat that often….” I try to explain that it doesn’t matter to me at all; as long as they feel the choice they make is right for them. As for being proud of someone for not eating meat, that implies that in some way I thought less of them for eating meat.
I am not big into proselytizing, so sometimes it is difficult for me to explain all this, especially to those who are not genuinely interested. And I don’t feel the need to rationalize or justify my choice to others. I would no sooner try to convince someone to “go vegetarian” than I would force someone to try Wholistic Fitness™: if they are ready, they will come to it in their own time.
My challenge is to find a means to answer that encourages a true dialog, without turning it into an endless and tiresome debate over the “rules” of vegetarianism. Sadly, many choose to discuss topics only in the most superficial way. Do I dare risk making people uncomfortable by trying to show them something a little deeper? Or is that the ego playing its little tricks, telling me that I need to explain myself to others so that they won’t think less of me?
